


i'm trying to start over, but the memory of you won't let me

by Stalemate



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Gen, Lena Luthor Knows Kara Danvers Is Supergirl, Roadtrip, Slow Burn, Sort Of, also Kara is a teacher, bear with me here, but that's not relevant, the supercorp part wont start until chapter two but im still tagging it, the title is a wip
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-22
Updated: 2019-08-22
Packaged: 2019-10-25 22:31:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17733872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stalemate/pseuds/Stalemate
Summary: After revealing her identity to Lena, Kara leaves her life in National City behind to begin again. A year and a half later, while on a roadtrip with Sam, Kara starts to remember all the good times she had with Lena before leaving, and is later reunited with an old friend.(I know this summary is absolute shit, but bear with me)





	1. chapter i

**Author's Note:**

> I've been working on this for the past two months, and was originally planning on posting it once it was completely finished, but I really wanted to share this with people, so here we are.
> 
> Depending on the response, I might make a map of their road trip, but that's up to you guys.
> 
> Also, don't expect updates to be very often, I'm really busy with soccer games and I'm big on procrastinating, so sorry about that.

_Angry, and half in love with you, and tremendously sorry, I turned away.  
-F. Scott Fitzgerald_

\----------------------------------------------------------

She turned around in her chair with a smile on her face upon hearing soft footsteps from behind her, only for it to falter once she saw Supergirl's worried expression. She quickly motioned for her to come inside, curious to see what had her so worried. 

 

"Supergirl, what's wrong?" she asked, once Supergirl came inside and began to pace rather quickly in front of Lena's desk.

 

"I, uh.. I have to tell you something, and you're gonna hate me for it, which is why I kept it from you for so long, and before I tell you anything else, I just want you to know that it wasn't because of your name, or your brother, or anything like that. I was just so scared of losing you, I still am, and I'm so exhausted from hiding this from you, and I know you're going to b-"

 

She was cutoff by Lena, "Supergirl, whatever it is you want to tell me, I'm sure it'll fine" she asked, apprehensive of the answer she would get from the blonde. This seemed to calm the hero down considerably before she continued speaking, "Okay, um... I guess I'll just show you..." as she said this, she pulled out a pair of black glasses out from her boot and placed them on her face. When she still didn't see any recognition on Lena's face, she tied her hair up into a ponytail.

 

"I'm Kara Danvers."

 

After what felt like an eternity of silence from Lena, she finally spoke up, and the words she uttered were enough to shatter Kara's heart right where she stood.

 

"Get out."

 

"Lena, I-"

 

" _ Get. Out _ ."

 

And with that, Kara Zor-El left Lena Luthor's office, never to return again.

 

//

 

Three days after the reveal, Kara sat on her couch, every inch of her coffee table covered in takeout containers as she stared blankly at her television screen, on which was the 24/7 news channel she always had on. She hadn't spoken to anyone for the past three days, not even her sister, and planned to keep it that way. When she finally re-focused her eyes on her screen, it showed a picture of her flying through the air, captioned with "WHERE IS SUPERGIRL?". Angered at the site of her alter ego, she turned off the TV and began to form a plan in her head.

 

The next day, after everything had been arranged, Kara Danvers sat in the airport, waiting for her flight to begin boarding. She was focused on her phone, sending a text message to Alex.

 

**_[4:12 AM] You -_ ** I'm going away for a while. Bye, Alex.

 

" _ Flight 782 to Santiago, Dominican Republic will now begin boarding _ ."

 

And with that, Kara Danvers got in line for a new beginning.

 

//

 

A year and a half later, Kara Danvers had settled in a town called Jarabacoa and was teaching high school science at Doulos Discovery School, though she had changed her name to Carol Griffin when she first moved. No one from her previous life knew her name, where she was, or what she did, and she intended to keep it that way. All she wanted to do was start anew, away from Supergirl, the DEO, and, most importantly, Lena Luthor.

 

On the last day of the school year, Kara had gone to what the locals call the Plaza to get ice-cream before heading home. The walk home was a short one, due to the proximity of everything, yet still gave her time to think. Due to busy mess that was her life, her only friends were students and teachers from the school, and she had never really explored the city. She made a vow to change that as soon as she got home and changed into her 'at-home' clothes and made some calls to her colleagues, asking if any of them wanted to go on a road trip with her over the break. Out of the seven people she asked, three replied, declining the offer. Another three didn't even respond, and the seventh, Sam Arias, agreed to join Kara for a week-long road trip around the country. Luckily, she was one of her closer friends from the school, and was okay with it being just them, as Sam's daughter, Ruby would be at a summer camp.

 

That same evening, they got to planning. It was only until ten in the evening that they finally finished. On the first day, they'd meet at the Plaza and set off for their first destination.

 

//

 

The wooden sign at the base of the mountain read " _ Quintas del Bosque _ ", which wasn't their actual destination. The pair, both being of the athletic sort, had decided to go on a hike to what was called Montaña Plana, the very top of the mountain they now stood at. They both carried small hiking packs on their back, which contained a few water bottles, snacks, and Kara's had a camera.

 

They began their journey quietly, not having found anything to talk about, but were soon in a long conversation about books, stopping only to drink and eat every now and then.

 

_ "Sam, are you seriously telling me you haven't read The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy? That's like, blasphemy! You're an English teacher, how have you not read it?" _

 

_ "Okay, before you murder and bury me right where I stand, it's just too long! I don't have time to read an eight-hundred page book!" _

 

_ "Well, considering this is a five hour hike, I've got plenty of time to recount the entire thing to you!" _

 

The hike up to the very top of the mountain was a long winded one, and Sam was completely regretting every choice she’d made which lead to that decision, with Kara joining in to make it seem like the hike had any effect on her. The amount of spiders and pine needles on the trail were 'life threatening', according to Kara (despite her being an alien), but the view from the top was totally and completely worth it. From the flat rock they stood on, they could see green mountains ahead of them as far as the eye could see, covered in pine trees. Below them stood the crowded city that was Jarabacoa, it's buildings becoming less dense as they neared the mountains surrounding them.

 

An hour later, after Kara had taken more than enough pictures of the view, and the pair had eaten, they packed their bags and began to hike back down, ready to begin the drive to their next location, despite the sun already beginning to set when they arrived at the foot of the mountain, where their car was parked.

 

//

 

The next day, Sam and Kara found themselves on the north coast, at a beach nameless beach in a place called Sosua. It was one o'clock as the pair sat under an umbrella, chatting as they waited for their lunch. They spoke about an event which would be happening in August, known as Reading Under the Stars.

 

"Are you coming to the reading under the stars in August?" asked Sam, looking for something to talk about.

 

"No, I never have anyone to go with so I don't bother."

 

"Aw, c'mon, no boyfriend?" teased Sam, which resulted in Kara turning red as a tomato.

 

She looked down into her lap, shaking her head. Dating was a topic she avoided talking about at all costs, considering she wasn't out of the closet, due to the conservative community around her.

 

"Girlfriend?" at that, Kara's head shot up, her eyebrows so high they might as well have blended into her hairline. Upon seeing Kara's reaction to that, Sam lifted an eyebrow, "You are full of surprises, Carol Griffin." Right as Kara was about to speak up, Sam spoke up, "Don't worry, I'm bisexual. I would never out you." At this, Kara visibly deflated, and a smile soon occupied her face as their food arrived.

 

They spent the rest of the day with Kara swimming around in the water, and Sam laying on the beach, tanning. At around three, the pair changed clothes and spent the rest of the day at a hotel a few minutes walk from the beach.

 

Once they were settled in their pajamas and in their beds, just as Kara was dozing off, Sam whispered, "Do you wanna come with me? To reading under the stars, I mean."

 

"M'kay," 

 

"Alright. Goodnight, Carol."

 

"G'night"

 

//

 

The next day, after the pair had breakfast and checked out of their hotel at eleven o'clock, they set off to the capital, Santo Domingo, to explore the early colonial zone for an afternoon. Once they arrived at the city, it was 3:30 in the afternoon, and the pair were so hungry they could "Eat an entire cow and still have space for desert,", according to Kara, whose point was soon proven by the loud grumbling of her stomach. That promptly earned a chuckle from Sam, who suggested they head to one of the restaurants placed around a large plaza situated near the center of the colonial zone.

 

Once seated on the rooftop of an Italian restaurant chosen by Sam (considering Kara chose where to eat last time), Sam took notice of what seemed to her as Kara's not-so-subtle uneasiness as she observed the menu. After a few minutes of silence from both women, Sam finally spoke up, "Carol, you look off. Are you okay?". This earned a nervous nod, accompanied by Kara nervously adjusting her glasses.

 

"You're lying and you know it."

 

Defeated, Kara placed her menu on the table and took a deep breath. Upon noticing Kara's mood, Sam was quick to mirror Kara's actions and waited patiently for her to begin speaking.

 

"It's just... this place kinda reminds me of a place I went to dinner with an old friend of mine,"

 

_ // _

 

_ The rooftop was lined with fairy lights, soft jazz music playing in the background, setting a soothing ambiance for the other patrons seated at small rounded tables scattered around the floor. Overlooking the roof stood the tall skyscrapers of the city, through which you could see some lights still on in some of the windows. _

 

_ Seated at the center of the tables were Lena Luthor and Kara Danvers, after two weeks apart while Lena was at a business trip in Japan. The pair were rather well dressed, with Kara wearing a floral suit and Lena wearing a red dress with lace sleeves.  _

 

_ They both wore wide smiles on their faces, not knowing the turmoil that would ruin their friendship later on. _

 

_ // _

 

"I haven't spoken to her since I moved here, and I can't exactly just go back to National City and surprise her or anything,"

 

She paused as a waiter came to fill their glasses with water, thanking him quietly. "Why can't you?" asked Sam, once the waiter had walked away from their table.

 

"Cuz she kind of hates me. I can't tell you why because of... reasons, but yeah, if I were to randomly show up in National City after a year and a half, she'd almost certainly throw me off her balcony."

 

"Jeez, it can't have been  _ that _ bad," 

 

"You'd be surprised." And with that, their waiter came back to take their orders, despite the pair barely having looked at the menu.

 

Later on, when plates of food sat in front of them, a large place of tagliatelle with pesto and Parmesan cheese for Kara, and fettuccine alfredo  for Sam, the topic of Kara's previous life was brought back.

 

"So, what did you do before you moved here? I actually don't know much about your life before you moved here." asked Sam, as she began to eat.

 

"Uh, I was a reporter for CatCo. Worldwide Media."

 

"Oh? Ever met any celebrities?" inquired Sam, curious as to who Kara might've met.

 

"No, not really. Unless you count Lena Luthor." replied Kara, nonchalantly.

 

" _ What? _ You mean you actually met  _ the _ Lena Luthor, who has saved the world not once, but two times?!"

 

"Yep. The one and only. We were actually friends before I moved," this was accompanied by Kara nervously adjusting her glasses once again.

 

"Anyways, what about you?" inquired Kara.

 

"Well, I lived in Santiago before moving to Jarabacoa, and before that I was a Spanish translator at a clinic in Metropolis."

 

The only response Sam received was a hum of acknowledgment from Kara, who was already halfway through her plate of pasta. After that, the pair ate in silence, only speaking again to get dessert.

 

Later in the evening, after they had left the restaurant and driven into the center of the city, the pair found a motel to stay at overnight; they had to leave for their next destination early in the morning if they wanted to make it there before dark.

  
  



	2. chapter ii

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The roadtrip comes to an end, as does summer. Kara meets an old friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! I'm so sorry this second chapter took so long; my computer gave out on me and I lost all the progress I had made. It's also a bit shorter, as everything I write is usually a thousand words long.
> 
> Thank you all for the comments and kudos as well! They mean a lot to me, and keep me writing. Still debating whether or not I should make the map of the roadtrip or not, but meh.

 

“ _ Hold the line! Love isn’t always on time!” _

 

Sam and Kara were singing at the top of their lungs, while on a nearly four hour car ride to their next destination, José Armando Bermúdez National Park. They were planning on hiking halfway up Pico Duarte, and then back down.

 

They were on the highway which lead to Santiago, the province which the national park was located in. The pair had been driving for about an hour, and the sun was barely peeking above the horizon. While the last notes of the song on the radio was playing, Sam turned into a gas station, claiming they would need more snacks. The small parking lot was empty, save for one other car, a red Ford Mustang that seemed it was from the 1950s. It reminded Kara alot of a vintage car Lena had, back in National City.

 

Once Sam parked in the parking spot to the right of the Mustang, she and Kara got out of the car and walked to the mini market.

 

It was pretty small, with fluorescent white lights above them. Kara immediately headed for the chips section, while Sam went to look for drinks. Kara had just selected a few cans of sour cream and onion flavored Pringles when, to her surprise, a dark haired woman with pale skin was looking at some candy displayed on a shelf behind Kara.

 

Kara, not knowing what to do, was frozen in shock, not believing her eyes. Just as the woman turned around and faced Kara, Sam beckoned for Kara from the cash register, to which Kara responded very quickly.

 

The pair checked out. Kara seemed to be in a rush, which Sam couldn’t understand. She decided not to question it, so they both went on their way.

 

Almost three hours later, Sam and Kara had finally arrived at the national park, where they would be spending their next 13 hours or so. They had just started the long hike, after signing their names on a sheet of paper at the reception desk. They both carried hiking packs, which mostly included granola. A  _ lot _ of it. 

 

Around seven hours later, when they had finally reached  _ El Cruce _ , the checkpoint located at just about half way up Pico Duarte, the pair stopped for a  _ long _ break after a rather excruciating hike.

 

“I regret every decision I’ve ever made that has lead me to this point.” proclaimed Kara, as she flopped down onto a hard wooden bench, not bothering to care about the fact that she could break it by just flicking it.

 

Opposite her, Sam was in a similar condition, though she was a lot more vulgar about it.

 

“God, I can’t wait to go back home. This was a fucking mistake.”

 

All Kara did in response was nod, as she was too tired to do much else. Sam quietly chuckled to herself, and by the time she looked to her right again, Kara had fallen fast asleep. Sam followed soon after.

 

About half an hour later, when they had both woken up, they feasted on granola and trail mix, before preparing to head back down. They filled their three water bottles up before finally beginning to descend.

 

The descent was even worse than the hike up. Having to constantly stop themselves from falling on their faces proved to be harder than they both originally thought.

 

“The distance between each checkpoint looked so short on the map… I feel betrayed.” Said Sam, as she miserable crossed a small river, not bothering to use the log placed across it. Kara silently agreed, not finding it in herself to answer verbally.

 

The rest of the hike was very quiet, the only sounds being that of bird around them, and the occasional ruffling of a granola wrapper.

 

In 6 hours, the two had finally arrived at the bottom of the mountain, feeling miserable, though Kara was in much better condition than Sam. They slouched to the car, Kara proclaiming she would drive so Sam could rest.

 

The drive back home was silent, save for Sam’s occasional, quiet snores heard from the backseat. Kara drove the entire two hours home, protesting when Sam offered to drive, once she had woken up.

 

After arriving at Jarabacoa, Kara drove to her apartment building, and let Sam take her car back to her house.

 

After shutting her apartment door, Kara walked over to her couch and flopped right onto it, not bothering to shower.

 

Two and a half months later, school was starting back up again and all was good. Kara’s summer had been uneventful, and she was ready to get back to work. She was excited to meet this year’s new freshmen, and to see her old students.

 

After many hugs and classes, Kara was ready for her lunch break. She only had one class period left before she was free. After eating, she headed to her classroom to set up for her next class.

 

Halfway through the class period, the vice principal stopped by, claiming he needed to speak to Kara.

 

“There’s a woman at the front desk asking to speak to you.”

 

“Okay, well who is it?”

 

“She says her name is Tess Mercer.”   
  
Confused as to what Lena was doing here, and why she had used an alias, Kara replied, “Ask her to wait until I’m out of class, could you?

 

The man nodded and turned to walk away, and Kara went back to teaching her class.

 

Once the bell rang, signaling the end of the class, Kara let out a sigh of nervousness and relief, at the same time. She  _ really  _ wasn’t prepared to see Lena right now, not after what happened before. She did miss her though, and she was curious as to Lena’s reason for being here.

 

She packed her things, organized her desk, and locked her classroom’s door on the way out and walked across campus, where the main office was located. Despite her nervousness, she was ecstatic to see Lena again, after nearly two years.

 

She pushed open the glass door that lead to the room Lena was in. She seemed to be making small talk with the receptionist while she waited for Kara. Upon hearing her footsteps, she turned around to face Kara. Bright emerald eyes stared at ocean blue ones, and Kara was paralyzed. Not a thing about Lena had changed, though her hair seemed a tiny bit longer. Her skin was still white as ivory and her hair still dark and silky as a raven’s feathers. Kara opened her mouth to speak, but not knowing what to say, nothing came out.

 

Lena was the first to speak up, “Hi”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading :D  
> Let me know what you think in the comments, and check out my tumblr @sstalemate (or my writing/photography blog, @photographerwithapen, for other things I've written)


	3. chapter iii

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heyo! im back :)  
> here's another chapter. not my best work but it'll do. hope you guys enjoy!

“So uhm… what are you doing here?” Kara asked, once the pair were alone in the room.

 

“I didn’t believe my eyes when I saw you at that minimarket, so I tracked you down. And well… here we are.”

 

“Aren’t you mad at me? I mean, after what I did I wouldn’t blame you.”

 

Lena shook her head and let out a sigh. “I was. I still am, but for different reasons.”

 

Kara reached up to adjust her glasses, “Wh-Why are you still mad?”

 

“Kara, for the love of God,  _ you left me _ without a word! You just up and left, and now I find out you’re living an entirely new  _ life  _ here, and well… now I don’t know what to do! For the past what, nine months? I thought you were  _ gone _ and now to find you here…”

 

She let out an exasperated sigh as she sat down, which was followed by a stretch of silence. After what felt like eons, Kara finally answered. “I’m sorry,” but all that did was earn a scoff from Lena.

 

“You’re sorry? Honestly, Kara, I would’ve at least expected some kind of excuse, or maybe an explanation that would be  _ somewhat  _ fathomable.”   
  


“Well, Lena, I don’t know what to tell you. You were angry at me and I just didn’t know what to do. What turned into a small trip to get away from everything just… got out of hand. I can’t really excuse what I did, ‘cuz there’s no good excuse for it. I’m just... I’m sorry. And I know it’ll be a while before you can forgive me.”

 

Silence.

 

“You’re right about that. Give me a couple of days to process this and maybe we can have lunch together? Just like the old times?”

 

Kara smiled, “Just like the old times.”   
  
//

 

It had been five days since Kara and Lena had talked, and Lena was finally ready to talk again. Only problem was, she had chosen the one day in the entire week where everyone in town was at church, and everything was consequently closed. By chance, Kara knew a place that was still open, and Lena agreed to meet her there.

 

They now sat across from each other at a small, hole-in-the-wall place that literally only sold booze, sandwiches, and coffee that was dirt cheap. Having no other choice, they both ordered the same thing: a  _ tostada,  _ which was a sandwich that consisted of melted cheddar cheese, and a couple of slices of ham, made with grilled bread, accompanied by a small cup of coffee worth about 20 cents.

 

“Kara, are you sure this place is safe?” Lena asked tepidly. She seemed to be worried about the man sitting next to her, who smelled of cheap rum and whose teeth were as yellow as a book’s worn pages. Noticing Lena was worried about the man, Kara quickly eased her mind.

 

“Oh, that’s just Miguel, no need to worry about him.”

 

Just then, the woman running the restaurant brought them their orders. Before taking a bite, Lena asked, “So how’ve you been?”   
  


“Good. Went on a road trip during the summer, that was fun.” She replied with her mouth full.

 

“That’s… not what I meant. I’m asking how this new life has been treating you.”

 

“Oh! It’s been good. Still trying to make friends, though. The other teachers at the school are  _ boring _ ,”

 

“Miss me?” Lena teased, earning a laugh from Kara.

 

“Yeah, I really have.”

 

“Oh,”

 

“Anyways, what about you? How’s National City doing?” Kara asked, taking a sip of her coffee, and making a face at the bitterness of it.

 

“Not great, to be honest. Crime rates have been way up since you left; the cops can barely keep up L-Corp is doing what it can to help, but it’s not much,”

 

“Oh… what about the DEO? Can’t they help?” She asked, confused. They always managed to handle things before, and now that Alex was running it, she’d imagined the DEO would be thriving.

 

“Well, the DEO’s had issues in the past couple of months. Some Colonel has taken over, and Alex was basically fired. She works for the FBI, now.

 

Oh my god. Kara had forgotten about Alex, “Crap. Don’t tell me there’s a new supervillain now too.”

 

Lena laughed, “No. Not yet, anyways.”

 

Their conversation was interrupted by the waitress picking up their plates, indicating they should leave soon.

 

Kara paid the woman as she chuckled at Lena’s reply, and motioned for them to leave. “So what are you doing here, of all places?”

 

“Well I figured it was about time I took a vacation, and I heard this country was nice, so I came here,” She answered, “finding you here was just a small bonus” Lena added with a smile.

 

The pair ended up sitting at a park and talking for a good while before they were interrupted by none other than Sam, who instantly started to fangirl over Lena. Luckily, Kara managed to calm her down before she imploded.

 

“Calm down, Sam. Jeez,”

 

Meanwhile, a confused, yet somewhat proud Lena stood by and watched them interact.

 

“Sam, this is Lena. Lena this is Sam, she’s another teacher at the school I work at.”

 

Lena politely shook her hand, “Nice to meet you, Sam. You’re a friend of Kara’s?   
  


“I guess you could say that. What about you?”

 

Lena hesitated, so Kara answered for her, “She’s an old friend of mine. We haven’t seen each other since I moved here.”

 

This earned a look of utter disbelief from Sam, who hadn’t believed Kara when she had told her the same thing a few weeks ago. Just as Sam was about to speak up, her phone rang, and she promptly left the pair to their own devices.

Noticing the sun just barely peeking over the treetops, Kara figured her time with Lena had ended for today. “Well, the sun’ll be setting in a bit, and I’ve got some quizzes to grade. We can meet up again sometime this week, if you’d like?

 

“Oh absolutely. I forgot how much I enjoyed talking to you. If you give me your number, I can text you next time we can meet up?”

 

“Sure!” she answered, and promptly traded numbers with Lena. “I can walk you to wherever you’re staying, if you want.”

 

Lena nodded, and they both walked further out of the center of town, with Lena leading the way.

 

Upon arrival, Kara realized Lena was staying at one of the worst hotels in town. It had been known to get its power cut out frequently, and some people even reported it having terrible staff.

 

“Lena, I can’t let you stay here! This place  _ sucks _ . Why don’t you stay at my place, instead? You can’t find a decent hotel in this town,”

 

Lena seemed to debate it for a while, and ultimately decided to agree to Kara’s offer.

 

“Great! I’ll help you move your stuff and we can get a move on. It’s a bit far up the hill, so we can take a moto.”

 

“Sounds like a plan”

 

//

 

Lena’s ‘stuff’ as it turns out, was a duffel bag of sleepwear and a few outfits to wear during the day. Kara plopped the bag down on the floor once they had arrived at her apartment, and turned to Lena.

 

“So uhm.. I still haven’t set up the bed in the other bedrooms yet, so you can take my bed and I’ll sleep on the couch,”

 

“Kara, that’s insane. I’m sure we can both fit. No need for you to sleep on your couch. That’s just ridiculous,”

 

Knowing better than to argue with Lena, Kara begrudgingly agreed, and soon enough, they both were ready to go to sleep; all the walking they’d done that day had taken the toll on them.

 

They both awkwardly crawled into bed, facing away from each other.

 

“Goodnight, Kara.”

 

“Goodnight, Lena.”

  
‘ _ Oh Rao, what have I gotten myself into _ ’ Kara thought, as she drifted into sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! [Check out my tumblr for other stuff I've written!](https://photographerwithapen.tumblr.com/)


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